[This Transcript is on the 7th Chord of a G Sharp Minor Scale]
Alright train hot dog transcription by me
it's actually really good, it features Ryan Ike composer extraordinaire, he's driving, He is the one who is taking Jim to the Airport going home from PAX I believe. Ryan (the one who's driving) he basically says that the break might squeak a little because it's totally out of his hands the way the traffic's moving and that he can't control it. He wishes he could control traffic like magneto but he's upset he wasn't born with those powers. he says he has other powers but he can't reveal them, they'd be a clue, maybe after FF2 drops he said.
SO we're off and Jim is Googling shit infront of Ryan. He's googling Monte Cristo not The Count of Monte Cristo but the sandwich and basically Jim thought it was something else before he knew what it was and then it turns out that there is like a Savory Monte Cristo which is like a deep fried ham and cheese and there's also a sweet one which is kind of like pan-fried with some batter and sugar.
So they're jiving, looking up the sandwich, Ryan is doing some braggadocio like if he's the right one in the car no one else can be correct he's just being facetious and silly got a little bit.
Jim clicks on cheese dream like as if it's a related article and he looks it up but it's actually just like a piece of grilled cheese but only one piece of bread. Ryan is flummoxed. He's like what the hell's wrong with that.
Then Jim is like we cut your mother in half and now it's your dream mom! like just making fun that no one would ever dream of that. Ryan's all like "I had a dream that I ate a grilled cheese but it was one third less. It was a nightmare worse than the rooster dream he had."
Anyway so then they're talking about Wikipedia and that every user has a page and basically even IP addresses so I think he was saying there was one IP address that went and made like tens or dozens of edits on movies for their running time and he would just adjust like 1 minute or two minutes or whatever it was but he was like doing this for all the little movie pages and Jim wasn't sure if it was like he was looking at the back of his vhs or if he was sitting there with a stopwatch watching it all.
Anyway they start talking about the train hot dog meta and Ryan is like does anyone really ever listen to this shit and Jim is like hey there is like a hundred downloads on each podcast and Ryan is actually impressed and he's just talking like something about the little shit you do on the internet that nobody notices. And he's saying that what if the 100 Monsters that listen to THD find this guy and revert his edits. And he goes there with the stopwatch timing back to the future and at the end of the movie he's like OMG i was right and he blows his brains out.
That leads Jim to immediately say that he has to pause the recording and tell Ryan like a really fucked-up story like it was so gnarly and fucked up. Ryan: "That's dark, that's a lot for you to.." The premise is like I guess Jim has a choice to make, but it had something to do with bleach. but he specifically said that it's not a story for the listeners it was just for Ryan and that it had to do with bleach Ryan makes a joke like Sophie's bleach that jim has to make. and he was just kind of aghast of the whole thing like that's messed up.
They also reference a license plate in front of them that's my rash. Ryan is making the connection that if you were to call the cops (apparently in Cali there are signs on the side of the freeway saying hey if you see someone not driving good this is the number and report them so he's like hey if you narc on your fellow driver and they're like what's the license plate number and you say it's my rash they're going to say Same to you buddy!! hang up on you and this guy is never going to get convicted and Jim give that some real good moment of silence to let that simmer.
Ryan says you can't call this train hot dog. Ryan's asking like have you just been shitting these out? And if he can still call this train hot dog and so Jim is explaining the premise of the GDC hot dog to Ryan Ryan is horrified he doesn't want GDC to last all year because he met awesome people and he was yelled at by Australians for going to the wrong coffee shop but it was like his favorite one and he was saying that they were being like coffee snobs about the cold pressed which isn't bad and have you tried that Nitro coffee it's so it's pretty good but that's just me that wasn't on the podcast anyway.
Yesterday at 11:03 PM Edit
They're just talking about like coffee and Australia how that Jim was with one guy one Australian guy and he kept ordering coffees and it just kept getting drip coffee and he kept getting irate. and how like they're just particular or have an different Coffee Culture than in the US when you order a coffee there it's and espresso. Ryan thinks it's anarchy and if that reaches beyond their shores we're doomed. So like you like his friend went in order a coffee and he got a drip coffee and he was like what the hell and basically Jim went to a vending machine like for coffee and activated it in front of his friend and his friend was horrified.
As Ryan gets older he says he likes sweet things less, Like this donut hamburger thing that got them to google monte cristo, overly sweet things gross him out. He will still eat it sometimes though. he said even on their double date last night they had ice cream it was totally like a scene out of a 50's musical with the sardine can diner and the milkshake with a straw and waitress on roller skate, Anyway
He really likes the pumpkin spice latte and he's like if it's for white girls then sign me up because I love it too but he says the one that he gets from Starbucks is too sweet and so he rather just get drip coffee nowadays and then he's asking Jim like about coffee asking if he's ahead of the curve and I had to laugh at that a little bit because Jim's like it's just the cheapest one dude.
Jim is also talking about when he gets a coffee at Starbucks he sometimes likes to put in some half and half, vanilla powder and some Nutmeg and it's like drinking Christmas and then Ryan says that should be his Memoir titled he had another one but they have excessive short term memory loss.
And Ryan's talking about a new christmas sweater, but instead of repeating reindeer, it's repeating Riccardo Zamboni's. Jim doesn't know what he looks like, neither does Ryan. They're like oh he's like the villian from VR troopers who never leaves his office. Ryan's taking about VR Troopers. "Remember VR Troopers?" Jim is like UH was it a game? Ryan says it was a game for him. Ryan: "There were power rangers, and when that ruined everything fore veryone and it was my faovrite thing ever. Then they released VR Troopers, it was a group of attractive white kids and instead of turning into power rangers, they got wierd mini saibon suits and went into the VR world which was blue lighting with curtains hanging everyhere. Long before the oculus Rift in the 90s. Jim says it's like Nowhere man, Nowhere man is like okay we're going to try to be a reboot of The Prisoner. And so it goes like the Government took away his identity and his wife doesn't.
Today at 9:46 AM Edit
Know who he is and so he has to go solve the mystery. There's one episode where he meets this computer whiz kid who among other things takes him into the VR world where he can dance with his wife.
* ryans cracking up* he says "Oh yeaa, computers coming alive" Jim asks that maybe you can ID the music Ryan because he really remember liking this chello song from the dance. And he feels certain it's a real piece of classical music. because if it were original it'd be done with a shitty rompler with a chello patch. Ryan talking about shitty cheese dick chello
Ryan: You know classical music is free right? Let me clarify you know all music is free right?
Ryan goes on about the Prophecy with Christopher walken. Jim's thinking of the movie with Johnny Depp, the 7th Seal, Ryan says actually it's the 9th Gate, they chuckle over this confounding. different number different noun different all of it
So theres this series of movies called the prophecy and Chris Walken, hes an archangel and badass and war between heaven and hell and he was with his friend and they wanted to rent this cool movie like he perches on the back of the chair and it doesn't tip over and it's just cool flick.
So they go to the vidya store to go get The Prophecy. And what they rented was Prophecy and didn't realize that. No chris walken, just Beaver (bieber?) puppets.
So Prophecy is about a writer on a lakehouse and they're just up there writing like some steven king novel and the lake near them gets too much mercury poisioning and so the beavers mutate to have like second vestigal tails and with spikes and shit
There's a moose at one point that's just like, going for it and has fangs and stuff. Jim thinks it sounds better. Ryan's like we got an hour into it and we were like "I don't think we're going to see any devils in thos movie, it'd be a real hard right turn for chris walken to come over and say hey, i'm an angel this is the reckoning coming. Theyd have to manhandle beavers out of the way. A total creative left turn he wasn't sure where he was going with this, just that there are two movies called prophecy.
Jim wraps it up "We're pulling into fruitvale station" They can still see the seattle skyline and the airport is half hour away and he's fucked.
Jim has 22 minutes of train noise to dub in and so the podcast must end in there, even though he didn't dub in the train noise.