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[This Episode puts the Tea in THD]

[This summary puts the 'in' into inaccurate]

[This summary is a work o fart, by Pablum Picasso. Or Klimt.]

[See below the summary for an attempt at transcription.]

Welcome to Complain hot dog. Terk's complaining they have to do a podcast. Rider mail asks if it's frog fractions 2 probably. He said it was essentially self answered so congrats to the rider from fruitvale. Second rider mail: Do pancakes cook in the oven.

Wether or not Nicole Snooki is a Jedi. This train is slow today, hes humming and speaking french. J'adore, Jedi. Jedi Snooki 3 Jedi Master Snooky4 Jedi Kitten Kaboose. Now he's searching for an Alternative for deviant art on deviant art. he wonders if he can escape this time loup. It kinda makes him crave time soup he says.

He says Lets try againe. I just want a search engine that knows exactly what I need to know when it's typed in. The exact Right answer. Now he's blabbing about the media telling us what to do in our life.

Talking about train dog corns, train poop corns, train columns, trainmaroonman.org

He says this is richly useless. Ballpark pwn, pallpark phone. He says he want to point out that he don't want a visit from a jedi from the main timeline. He think the universe of the jedi is super fun and useful. Anyway he's talking about a mysterious jedi who is able to make a phenomenal toast at thanksgiving. The jury is out weather they're talking about champagne toast or bread toast.

With butter, stack (steak?), he's fighting an insane amount of toast, he later on fights a chair. And I think he might be a fan of classical music, but like force music from classical era. But he's not strong enough, the prince paul version. mumble mumble mumble he's talking about printing stuff, let's print stuff he says. Might as well print to floppy drive A colon: Oh that's tight is prolly from the demo, you gotta pull it out. Vvvviissuuuaalll Demmonstration.

He says really too bad I can't find it an alternate string that he's confidence something about altering the timeline of the podcast. here comes trainy noises.

Brrain hotdog, he's sneezing and crying that this was his greatest invention yet. his penultimate recording. Okay, Ah-ha. more mumbling, i like that lightsable.

Charlegmane hot dog. Autour. He keeps repeating author or butter or nutter. he says Oh ducks.

More train noises and thats it.

[TRANSCRIPT HOT DOG]

(backward speech)

Welcome to Complain Hot Dog, the podcast where I do nothing but complain. This episode, I'm going to be complaining that I asked to do a podcast. But first ... Rider Mail!

This Rider writes from the (Fruitvale) area code. They write: " 'Is this Frog Fractions 2,' probably." That's a very interesting question. And I like your answer -- it probably is Frog Fractions 2 [audio jump] --prised. Well I'm glad you answered that one, so ... looks like that's it for Rider Mail.

[audio anomalies]

We're going to look [jump cut] ... whether or not Snoopy is a Jedi.

[repeated word/phrase in background: 'jackoff?' 'Zagmar?' something like that]

... some of my ... Scottish Coast. [or Ghost? Hard to tell w/accent] I have to say, by the way, this train is extremely slow today.

(typing) 'Is ... Snoopy ... a ... Jedi?'

[words 'a Jedi' repeated backwards, followed by the 'short' and 'long' Morse sounds that are used later on in the podcast (see below).]

DeviantArt... "Jedi Snoopy 3", "Jedi Snoop-- [cut] --of Gallifrey" [cut] "Jedi Master Snoopy of Galli--" "Jedi Snoopy 4", [cut] "Jedi Snoopy", by Kitten Kadoo--[cut] "Snoopy The Jedi Knight".

... (dissatisfied) Alright. Let me rephrase that. (types) 'alternate' -- 'alternative to DeviantArt Snoopy'.

[baby voice plays, then plays reversed, then plays forward again, under the speech.]

"Alternative to DeviantArt". (beat) On DeviantArt. (wryly) I wonder if I can escape this time loop?

[reversed audio] Let's try again. (types) 'Alternative to Train Hot Dog".

"10 Alternatives to the Classic Hot Dog." I just need a search engine that tells me exactly what I need to know when I type it in, even if I'm not sure what I need to know myself ... okay, let me try one more time... [cut]

Maybe if I give it an answer ... and then have it tell me if that's meaningful and useful, and maybe tell me what to do with my life! That's what I should do.

(types) 'Quatrain ... Hot Dog'. "Quatrain Dog Poems". "Quatrain Food Poems" "Quatrain" -- "How to Write a Quatrain Poem". "Quatrain Poems", "Dog Poems: Quatrains | runeman.org!"

Pretty ... useless. Um, what about 'flame' (cut) seems like a pretty rich vein to t-(cut) 'Ballpark Home -' (chair scoot) 'Ball Park(tm) | Home.' (repeated chair scoot) (unintelligible) 'Bad command or filename.' OK.

Oh, and it's important to note that I don't think that Snoopy is a Jedi from the -- whatever the main timeline is called, I think that is either the um, SuperFun Universe, I believe? -- that - because - he's able to - in the Thanksgiving episode - toast, and butter, and stack, an insane amount of toast, and then later on he also fights a chair, and um, there's clearly some telekinesis work happening here, and I think he might also might -- oh, that's a good one! Let's see here, there *was* a reference to Gallifrey, be...before, so let's go to

(types) 'Snoopy dog house tardis' -- oops; you have to capitalize TARDIS!

(types) 'TARDIS'.

(mumbling) ... there's probably something there ... what if I have The Snake swallow Snoopy's doghouse?

(types) 'Little Prince Snake' ... hold on, that doesn't quite work. 'Little Prince of Persia'.

(under breath) ... Little Prince of Persia ... had to think about it for a second, there!

'Bad command or filename.' OK.

'POP.EXE' ... Oh that's right, it's 'PRINCE.EXE'.

... hmm. I'll try to go to the floppy drive. 'A:'

Let's see -- OHH, that's right; it's probably the demo. (types) POPDEMO.EXE ... maybe ... oh that's right we're doing the sequel now, so it has to be (types) PERSIA2.EXE ... (***MORSE CODE STARTS, MEANING AT END***) "Bad command or filename."'

(sounds confused) Hm, Oh.Lessee...oh, maybe I could have it tell me some answers instead of doing the parser. That would make sense, since in the future, we will all do away with parsers. I think that was a true statement I just made.

(types) 'SBAITSO.EXE' ... "Bad command or filename." ... That's really too bad, because I find Doctor Sbaitso's voice *very* soothing. [*** MORSE ENDS, message reads 'Terkim Fethrog is with you. Stay safe. Frog got your back.' ***] You really do believe that everything you say will be held in strict confidence, and that his memory contents will be wiped off after you leave. Ah, let's see, here (unint., train sounds get louder, then loud dishes sounds in BG then played reversed).

What about 'Rain Hot Dog?' "Bad command or filename."

What about 'EXPLAIN Hot Dog?' [ed. note: Yeah, THat'D be nice! -:D) "Bad command or filename." OK, I'm going to assume from now on that it's going to be a bad command or filename -- (CUT)

(grimly) -- there will be ... something here if I keep typing things. It just ... is a matter of how long it takes.

(brightens) Okay. How about 'plane Hot Dog'? ... defined in only 2 dimensions! ...

(cut) tried quatrain. How about 'Cinquain Hot Dog'? Or 'Brain Hot Dog'? 'Bridal Train Hot Dog'? (several short cuts) 'Hot Dot.' Oops! 'Hot Dog.' That 'up' arrow's a life saver!

'Charlemagne Hot Dog'? (listlessly) 'TURKEY Hot Dog'? 'FELT RUG Hot Dog'?

[ed. note: is the speaker saying turkey & felt rug is a wiener? Maybe! -:D)

(monotone voice) Nut ... butter. Nut butter. Nut ... butter.

(weird pinging sounds start)

Oh ... DUCKS!

(weird pinging sounds end)

(train continues in silence)

(Cafe sounds start again)

(Train Conductor:) Fruitvale, now arriving. Fruitvale Station. Fruitvale. (laugh sound -- is that Jim? Nope. Can't be!)

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